Being the second best..

    It's hard. There will come a time when you just want to lock yourself inside your room sitting in that corner thinking why aren't you good enough. You've done it all with the best you could but you still ended up the second best. This isn't purely about achievements but rather some other things we refused to recognize. It's when the your presence in non-existent. Everyone fails to recognize your existence. It's when you exist however they still look for another person's company. It feels so insulting but that outcast, i-don't-need-you is dominating and it consumes every inch of you and you ended up feeling, worthless because you're just the second best and everyone prefers the best.

     Tough discussions, long quizzes and term examinations. I have been too occupied with plenty of school stuffs. Sleepless nights, which ended up to me sleeping during class hours instead. I've been facing a great pressure and sometimes, I just can't deal with it. It tough, very tough. But, on the happy note, 3 more semesters and I'm off. I just think about it from time to time to motivate myself when times get rough and I feel like giving up. A year and a more and then that's it! :)

     Enough for that, I also celebrated my 20th birthday last 14th of July. It was just a simple celebration which I celebrated with my family and of course, my lovey. Although I celebrated my day with high fever and tonsillitis, I still had a blast. He sees to it that I am happy on my birthday and I highly appreciate his efforts. Wasn't able to take good pictures as well because I hated my face, that sick face. :/

     And lastly, I was finally able to finish the video I made for him on his birthday. I mean not really good with stuffs like that. I just really gave it a try and I am satisfied with the outcome. :)

     I'd love to share more but this is already long, next time, maybe. ☺

July 1, 2012 - We meet again, July ♥

     So yeah, July's kicking off and I can smell celebrations, a lot of it to look forward to. Mom and Dad are already planning for my day. I am not thrilled about it though but it made me happy to know that they're planning something for me on that day. On the other note, on 25th is his birthday, that I am really hippy about and quite anxious on what to give him or how to surprise him. Any suggestions you got there? ☺

June 29, 2012

     Since we are both busy with school stuffs, we decided to set a time when we can have quality time for each other, catching up and have dinner together. We agreed to have it on fridays because we don't have to worry about time and other stuffs. We had our dinner at our favorite fast food, bought some school stuffs and talk about how our day was. Went home past 9 o'clock and really enjoyed our day. It was great still having quality time for each other despite our hectic schedule. Feels like we're newly grown lovers. ☺

     And since we both have no loads, I didn't expect him to greet me goodnight but, look! I never saw it coming. He texted this around 11:15 in the evening and was able to read it late. I highly appreciate the effort he did. 

June 28, 2012 - God is good, all the time.

     No words can exactly describe how thankful I am today. His mercy works on me, again. It may sound like it's no big deal but for it is. I arrived at the university 45mins earlier from my class and went straight ahead to the library. I browsed for books I could borrow while waiting for the bell to kick off my class. Later did I realized it was already 10 minutes past 10. Hurriedly, I went to my classroom. "Thank God, I'm not yet late." Then I suddenly remembered I am assigned to give the "nugget of the day" as they call it. That's a quote or passage from the bible to inspire everyone and I wasn't able to prepare for it. Bad vibes, right? I browsed through twitter to look for a good quote when our instructor arrived. This day isn't going to be good, I thought. But what rings a bell into my ear is that our exam is postponed and we are free to go. ☺

     And I'm back to the world of blogging. It's been a while from being on hiatus. A lot of things happened. Internet connection's down for over a week just in time classes have started. Asking about how was the first two weeks of class? The first week of classes was all about chillin' and catching up with friends. Meanwhile, the pressure is on during the second week and I believe it would be until the last day of the semester. I never thought having only 12 units for semester would still be hell. Quizzes and oral recitations will be my bestfriend this semester, I guess. Oh well, we must learn and sometimes we have to learn the hard way. Anyway here are glimpse of what happened during the month.

First day.

And the rest of the month.

May 31, 2012 - Goodbye May, Hellooo June! ☺

    The cold weather woke me up. It's already June tomorrow and it's officially rainy season. It's been raining the whole week and I'm loving it. Cold weather is cuddle weather. Unfortunately, lovey's too busy to visit me this week so I'm left with no choice but to hug my teddy instead. 

  
     It was raining hard during the afternoon and so I decided to freshen up and made myself a hot chocolate right after while watching television. I believe hot chocolate is always perfect for this cuddly weather. Later on I got bored and so I decided to take more photos of myself because I love myself. ;)

Also took photo of my precious bunny. :)

0010. I salute the person who stays with me no matter how hard it is to be with me.

Dear Boyfriend,

     Whenever I feel like I can’t handle something on my own, I know I can come to you. You’re one of the few people in my life who I know won’t ever fail me. Thank you so much for always being by my side. I love you so much.

    If there's one thing I can hardly do to the person I love, that would be letting him go. Basically, it's not the act of letting go that really hurts but everything that happens after that. Those never ending flashbacks of good, old, happy memories you once had with them. The terrible feeling you get when you do something that you are both fond of or visit a place you both frequently spend most of the time. It's when you are fighting the urge to text him and tell him how much you miss him and how you still love them so dearly. It's the moment when you wake up the next day and realize how much your life has changed just because he isn't there anymore. The moment you realize that the person you love with all of your heart is now gone and isn't coming back anymore. Those nights when you just cry yourself to sleep. And you know what hurts the most? That heartbreaking moment when you found out that you are no longer who you once was to him, that he is now in love with someone new. You are no longer the reason for the smile in his face. Your hand is no longer the one that fits perfectly his. His arms are all wrapped up to her and his lips is hers to kiss. And what's even worse? She owns your whole world now and you are left alone, still devastated.

0009. That in every relationship, love may never be enough. Commitment and faithfulness must come along with it.

      One good thing about having a big fight with the one you love is the making up that comes after the argument. Those never ending sorrys and iloveyous. Those i-dont-wanna-let-you-go kind of hugs and millions of kisses all over your face. And then comes the reassurance to each other that no matter what happens, how big the fight may be or how hard the situation you are both in, you are not quitting the fight and will never ever give up. You will both realize that losing each other is worse than any argument. And in the end, the fight will be all worth it because it made your relationship stronger and better.