It will never be easy being with me, never. Insecurities and fears are taking over me most of the time and it seems like I always have to live through each of your fvcking expectations. And to be honest, I just can't. I can't. I fall from time to time and I can do nothing about it. Human as we are we make mistakes. But with every mistake is another lesson learned to help us get through this fvkcing life. Guess what, I am not the person you thought I am. I get insecure when really, I should not. I feel fat and ugly. I don't have that flawless white skin and my hair doesn't always go in place. I am not that strong enough. I'm scared of almost everything. I'm scared of vomiting. I can't walk pass through a bridge, I'm too scared I might fall. I have my own set of limitations. I have frequent arguments with my bestfriend and boyfriend because I am too jealous. I can't give my parents a 1.0 grade and can only seldom place my name on Dean's Lister. I can't handle too much emotion because every now and then I will be suffering from a severe asthma attack. And so I just let things be. I'm not perfect but that does not give you the right to judge my imperfections. I eat when I'm bored. I'll scream at you when I get mad. I get jealous when I catch you happy with someone else. I'm having a hard time maintaining my grades. I burst into tears when I can't stay strong for myself. I'm a frustrated singer and dance like a cockroach. I can't function well without my other half. I have loads of imperfections and issues I wouldn't be surprise if everyone would leave me. And for those who stayed, thank you! I salute you for staying with me no matter how hard it is being with me. ☺
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