Wednesday, May 16, 2012

You have just been warned.

     It will never be easy being with me, never. Insecurities and fears are taking over me most of the time and it seems like I always have to live through each of your fvcking expectations. And to be honest, I just can't. I can't. I fall from time to time and I can do nothing about it. Human as we are we make mistakes. But with every mistake is another lesson learned to help us get through this fvkcing life. Guess what, I am not the person you thought I am. I get insecure when really, I should not. I feel fat and ugly. I don't have that flawless white skin and my hair doesn't always go in place. I am not that strong enough. I'm scared of almost everything. I'm scared of vomiting. I can't walk pass through a bridge, I'm too scared I might fall. I have my own set of limitations. I have frequent arguments with my bestfriend and boyfriend because I am too jealous. I can't give my parents a 1.0 grade and can only seldom place my name on Dean's Lister. I can't handle too much emotion because every now and then I will be suffering from a severe asthma attack. And so I just let things be. I'm not perfect but that does not give you the right to judge my imperfections. I eat when I'm bored. I'll scream at you when I get mad. I get jealous when I catch you happy with someone else. I'm having a hard time maintaining my grades. I burst into tears when I can't stay strong for myself. I'm a frustrated singer and dance like a cockroach. I can't function well without my other half. I have loads of imperfections and issues I wouldn't be surprise if everyone would leave me. And for those who stayed, thank you! I salute you for staying with me no matter how hard it is being with me. ☺

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